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Re-accomodate: what an interesting word

April 12, 2017
Amy H. Peterson - Staff Writer (apeterson@esthervillenews.net) , Estherville News

In light of this week's viral video of a man who was pulled off an airline flight because he was involuntarily bumped to make room for airline employees who needed the seat, many things came to mind.

Clearly, it is an alarming development for all of us who travel by air, and have been subject to worsening treatment of passengers.

Most of all, I wondered what would happen if such practices became the rule instead of the exception.

It works on planes: the seat you paid for, into which you've buckled your hips, and now they take.

Imagine in a restaurant: a plate full of delicacies you ordered whisked away for employees on their break.

At the theatre: someone has agreed to pay more for your seat so lights go up but you are ushered out.

In the bookstore line with your stack: another customer can take your loot and send you empty, with a shout.

At the grocery store, they take your food as it is bagged.

"Sorry, someone here needs what you have purchased; customer service will hear you rag."

At the courthouse as you sign your marriage license, legally binding your life to your love.

The registrar's offspring comes in and says, "Sorry I want to file taxes married jointly," kisses your betrothed and gives you a shove.

On RAGBRAI or another distance ride, you're suited up and road ready.

An organizer pedals away on your bike and calls back, "You're not fast enough, Eddie!"

There, there, a volunteer pats your hand, "It's just that she needed your bike."

Incredulous, you pull of your cleats, resigned to a lengthy hike.

Imagine the shock when you're in a hotel room, remote in hand or deep in the throes--

The manager, with all the panache of Hector Elizondo, throws open your door and says, "We've overbooked. You won the lotto, these people stay and you go!"

Or on the cruise ship a helicopter lands, whipping your copy of GQ or Cosmo or Women's Day or Motor Trend or The Dramatist clean out of your hands.

A porter approaches your lounger, with earnestness and intention.

Saying, "You'll have to clear out for a minor convention."

"Pardon?"

"You see," he continues, "these people," indicating, "did not book this cruise before we took off, but now they decided they want to join us so..."

Ahem.

"We hate to lose you as customers but, over board, I'm afraid you must go,"

As your body clears the deck you can just about see, the porter has thrown over a certificate for 30 percent off your next voyage on the high sea.

You've paid for perpetual care in the cemetery for dear granny and gramps.

Now the workers are out with equipment, playing loud music through beaten up amps.

"What are you doing?" you cry, sprinting through the children's garden and flowers.

"Others wanted this spot, so we're digging their place, you'll have to get your grandparents out of here within 48 hours."

At the bar, "I'll have what she's having," becomes literal.

The UPS driver can now take your package for personal use.

The answer, at 1-800-what's going on is, "I guess they needed it. Don't cry abuse."?

You answer your cell phone, and the person asks for Penelope.

"No Penelope here,"?you say, when another voice comes on the line.

"Oh, this is Penelope, who is this??

"This is me," you say. This is my number, to my mobile phone.

Penelope sighs and says, "Well I?went to the company and wanted this number, so they gave it to me. You should have received a text. Would you mind now hanging up??I'm sorry you are vexed."?

You call the help line once Penelope is through.

And the company says, "Well, we could only get one fee paid when the line belonged only to you. We appreciate the fees you have paid so far, but Penelope runs up her bill so much more, sending texts while driving her car."?

You've pushed a new life out into the great big world. The doctor says, "I?think it's a boy, no wait. It's a girl!"?

"You think?"?

"Well we may have to do some switching around, you see, the couple in the next room has six girls and this makes them frown. Could we not do a trade and make them more happy?"

The newborn photographer ducks as dad runs after the doctor, "Give me my son, Pappy!"?

Back at home, auntie ordered Woody's Pizza for the rest of the baby's clan.

When the driver brought the special up to the door, the neighbor grabbed it clean out of her hands!?

"I?guess they needed the pizza more,"?the driver said sadly. "Could you leave the tip??Seven girls to support, I need this job badly."

I think the answer is that accommodating the first time is well enough.

It's getting to the point accommodations most anywhere are not up to snuff.

Re-accommodating when someone has paid should not exist.

Tell me if you agree or disagree; thank you for this.

 
 
 

 

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